the twilight zone: December 2005

Shitty Day

Well my day was pretty boring till tonight. i went into the back bedroom to take jesse off my bed and put him into his own. the min i got in there something under my bed moved. i could tell it wasnt small cause jess threw my blanket off and whatever moved made it move like 3 or 4 inches. thats how i knew it was big. lol dont ask me how, but it was fast enough to make it around me and out the bedroom door without me seeing in anyway shape or form what the hell it was. it freaked the hell out of me. so i called my landlord and after laughing at my misery for a bit, he said he would bring some rat poision up tomarow. well i forgot about it and went in the living room for a while, i couldnt do anything about it anyway. about 30 mins later(after i decided to take my slippers off and put my tennis shoes on THANK GOD!) i went through the hall cause i had to go to the bathroom. i am not ashamed to say that i was going there to take a shit ok, this is what makes the rest of the story so funny. lol well on my way when i passed by the washer a mad hatter type kitten flew out from between the washer and dryer and tryed to rip my fricken leg off. well i will be honest and tell u that it litierly almost scared the shit right out of me. lol i finally scared it out a hole in the floor that was behind my washer that i didnt know was there and back outside. i use to love cats but if that thing comes back in my house i am going to kill it. lol

news

well i talked to billy,

and he said the talk around the barricks is that they are letting them go home some time around the 19 th or 21 st. we are all sooooo excited. eli tells me everyday, momma its time to go get daddy. lol

the twilight zone

I SAW THIS AND SOME OF IT I DIDNT KNOW. LOL

Sex Factz

1) 94% of men lie about their penis size.
According to condom manufacturers, only 6% of
men use extra large condoms.
2) The average man is 5 inches long when erect
(no matter what you have heard ladies, that's the
truth).
3) 80% of American men are circumsized. Even
though Pediatrics say it is not necessary.
4) No matter what all the ads say, nothing can
make your penis grow but time (most men reach
the end of their growth by the early 20's)
5) There is no correlation between penis size and
shoe size, hand size, or nose size.
6) Blue balls does exist! It's technically
called "prostatic congestion."
7) Only 16% of men shave their privates.

Some stuff on the ladies
------------------------------
1) Only 9% of women around the globe consider
themselves "attractive" (20% of British women do).
43% of women use the term "natural", 24% say
they have "average" looks, 8% prefer the
term "feminine", 7% say they are "good looking",
and 7% say they are "cute", and finally only 2% of
women say they are "sexy".
2) An estimated 85% of women wear the wrong
size bra.
3) 60% of women have had breast implants.
4) 75% of women dont like oral sex
5) 95% of women shave their privates.

Both
--------------------------------
1) Masturbation is healthy for both men and
women.
2) 70% of highschoolers have had sex before they
have graduated. 27% loose their virginity senior
prom night. Only 3% wait until marriage.
3) 95% of men would have sex with a girl after 1
month of dating. Only 10% of women feel this way.

5 Reasons Why Sex is Good
---------------------------------------------
1) It is a good workout. Sex burns about 150
calories every half an hour of it. It will lower your
cholesterol and improve breathing circulation.
2) You won't get sick. According to research if you
have sex 1-2 times a week you are less likely to
get sick.
3) You'll feel happier. You will feel a greater sense
of well-being. Women who have more sex were
clinically proven to be less depressed than women
who dont have sex.
4) Makes you look better- [ problem is ugly people
don`t get any ]. Sex releases hormones in your
body which make your skin and hair softer and
shinier and tone your physic.
5) (The best reason) You will live longer. Studies
prove that sex makes you live longer. Men who
had sex 1-2 times a week had half the death rate
as those who did not indulge themselves at least
once a month. It also makes you look younger. If
you have sex 3 times a week you may look up to
10 years younger than you really are.

the twilight zone

Christmas Elf Name

My Christmas Elf Name is

Get your Christmas Elf Name at JokesUnlimited.com

mine was blissfull tum tums lol

standing ovation

i would just like to give michelle the applause she deserves, for her fine computer skills she is useing on my site. i appriciate all she is doing for me, and i think she is doing an very good job.

This is the first and only post I am going to post on Denise's blogsite. I have one of my own, I don't need hers, but since I am making so many damn changes over a long period of time, and referencing my own blog to do so, it is so much easier to do it this way.

yeah yeah yeah i know.

i know i havent blogged in a while and some of you are thinking, DAMNIT WHY WON'T SHE BLOG!!!!! lol life has been really boring. billy should be home soon, hopefully for christmas, but i dout it. thats about it. i will have more news soon, so i will blog more often i promise. lol